This week has been a struggle, and I know I am not alone. My sciatica decided to flare up badly, but I am on the mend. After feeling like death just days ago, I didn’t think I had much creativity in me. I still managed to meet my 40,000-word writing goal, which is a great way to process life – I mean, trauma. I believe that living experiences can be quite traumatic for everyone, especially these days with the sudden shift in societal culture. Perseverance is a much-needed breath that I earn when I hit those writing milestones. Especially in this modern era, when we are all inundated with digital media. Here, let me add to this heap of virtual nonsense, lol.

I first started working with the Morrigan about seven years ago. True to her phantom nature, she comes and goes. Not that I am ever left godless; I just never want her to leave when she does. And then, when things start to go crazy, she shows up and fills me with the strength to fight another battle, another day. I still can’t fully fathom this fearsome war and battle deity. At first, I was jealous of the stronger relationships I saw that other pagans were developing with her. And then she became one of the loudest deities that I found amongst the community. She is very active. For a community that is hard to find, small and scattered to the wind as the powers that be would have it. People who haven’t met often share similar experiences. I also think she enjoys being written about in a modern context. 

The Morrigan has been with me since moving not long ago. She always seems to show up when shit gets real. Like the recent morning when she told me to get up, do my yoga and raise my damn energies, only for an hour later a masked man with a black assault rifle kicked in my front door. I’m glad I listened, and no one was hurt. I have been working for years interpreting these subtle communications I receive and trusting my intuition.

The Morrigan, Goddess of Sovereignty. What does this mean? As a spiritual principle, it is a word I can understand logically. I can grasp the cognitive definition. Today, I am beginning to understand the word on a different level. Stepping into my personal power and connecting to the land beneath my feet is a bright liberation in contrast to the dark horizon of an uncertain future landscape. It seems that many people are living in different narratives, which can create parallel timelines that occur simultaneously. I’m having a hard time finding my footing in this brave new world where things like authenticity and freedom are being questioned. I wake each morning and see this dystopian future is a nightmare. All Hail the Nightmare Queen. Give us the weapons we need.

The weight from outside, above, forces me to focus on the work I place in my hands. Focus on what is at my feet and below. What is within my grasp? Each footstep, each breath becomes labored. Each choice creates another shackle to the narrative they create for a cog like me. Each breath is a wordless mantra. Wordless thoughtforms. Until I label that unformed space and before the categorization takes place. Before instinct can take a swipe at order from the chaos. Awen can be found here. Personal power and sovereignty. It is a spark of creation or destruction. Potential, when viewed as a truth, cuts like a sword. Explore this space. What word or phrase does the mind manifest when facing the void? What is the potential between each gap in mental synapsis? Where am I even going? Creating space.